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01-26-2010, 11:44 AM
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#1 |
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Iphorill
is Eye For Real.
Scrub
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Jordan. Blue City
Posts: 147
Props: 58
Propped 56 Times in 44 Posts
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' Farewell '
gave feed to alot of cats, here's one: http://www.hip-hopeffect.com/showthread.php?t=6360
This no longer my style btw, this is something old I want to see your thoughts on, I had 10 other tracks like this!  I took them all down and started that Grunge movement. But I though I keep the last track I did to that old style of mine.' Farewell ' Prd. By Iphorill Description, story behind the song and full song page HERE Lyrics: [Intro] ...** Radio Tuning **...A tragic incident took place in Blue City last night, when a 33 years old man committed suicide by cutting his wrists in the bathroom. Officials didn’t reveal any information about the identity of the deceased. The following is a suicide note recorded on tape by the "Vctim Of Fate" as it says on the tape that was found beside the dead body... ...*Someone Crying*... [Hook] I think it’s time to go...I think it’s time to leave... I think it’s time to rest in peace... {X2} [Verse1] You should’ve seen...the way my tears cascaded exceedingly in vain my years have faded my past shaded my present & eroded my future “If I had a gun I’d load it & shoot ya” said the man in the mirror...terror shrouded my days, it feels like my life is an error I doubted the ways God was runnin’ things out and now what? I’m I an atheist who sings loud about made up excuses to whine and curse? No, this is me, in every line and verse blind since birth, I couldn’t see the truth never knew why I’m doomed to be abused you’re not free to choose as I vainly resisted love my fate mainly consisted of fallacious facts, fictional fame, fatal fantasy frustration, fury, ferocious frailty filthy fiends, fake friends, & finally frequent faults, why’s every one lie to me? desperately try to be my sudden homie blow me, even myself doesn’t know me!!!! [Bridge] Angel ‘Adnil’, can you feel my pain why did you make me fade away?! [Hook] I think it’s time to go...I think it’s time to leave... I think it’s time to rest in peace... {X2} [Verse2] Voices in my head keep tellin’ me my life is a penance & it’s not a cheap penalty I lost my soul it will never return to me I’m destined to fade for ever, eternally I can’t learn to be more relaxed & just pretend livin’ hopefully I’ll at last adjust my past is dust, I choke when I reminisce I struggle but I can’t deny that immense inclination to hold the white flag I’m sorry mom, I know you told me fight back but I just can’t get rid of these morbid thoughts a notion in my head in an orbit floats a notion I supported yet I try to forbid & forget I’m neither alive nor dead I merely aborted my senses I forfeit my lifetime cuz its essence is a sordid fact, I can’t take more sh*** but I sure did tears made my eyes distorted, never sorted issues piled up fell on my like a sword hit I needed love but no body could afford it so many goals I had but never bet to score shit I’m already fallin’ just didn’t hit the floor yet than any soldier I’m more dead suicide is not a sin f*** what the Lord said [Hook] X3 I think it’s time to go...I think it’s time to leave... I think it’s time to rest in peace... {X2} {Crying in the background} Don't forget to post links for your shit for me as you feed, you know damn well I return the feed...actually I'm too bored I'm willing to feed your shit even if you don't feed mine...!
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 I'm the letters that alphabet never heard about, the words that the lines couldn't manage to gather, the lines that the verses failed to comprehend, the verses that no song would dare to embrace, the song that no pen would ever write down. Last edited by Iphorill; 01-26-2010 at 12:07 PM. |
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| The Following User Says Props to Iphorill For This Useful Post: | «Kü®bźź» (01-26-2010) |
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01-26-2010, 02:01 PM
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#2 |
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«Kü®bźź»
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Smoke Cloud
Posts: 4,793
Props: 1,042
Propped 4,116 Times in 2,413 Posts
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Okay..
I think you need to fill out the beat better with your lyrics... theres points where you are cutting your bar length short, making the flow feel jumpy? did you record the chorus.. or was it someone else? the chorus was pretty solid.. it fit the overall approach of the beat and paved the way for the direction you took it on... I feel your delivery and emotion is ok, but I would really like to see you utilize the beat with your bars, second verse was definitely better than the first in the sense of filling out your bars.. your scheme is weird though.. at times you carry it too long and at others you end it too quick.. consistency could be polished up.. well worth the listen though.. all in all, I liked it better than the previous piece you posted.. so.. props on that.
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...Who Does God Pray To?...
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| The Following User Says Props to «Kü®bźź» For This Useful Post: | Iphorill (02-05-2010) |
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01-26-2010, 05:02 PM
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#4 |
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-»Ph€N¤M«-
is so GOD DAMN wavy
~
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In Ya Hopes & Dreams..
Posts: 4,014
Props: 1,472
Propped 1,639 Times in 1,016 Posts
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wasnt feeling it..
the hook was kinda wierd to me.. did u sing that? ..the quality is kinda.. really bad.. wasnt feeling the whole 'suicide' thing.. seems like the type of song that inspires emos.. the lyrics was decent.. the rhyme scheme was decent.. none much to say
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 ...My Opinion > Fact > Everything Else > Your Opinion... |
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01-26-2010, 05:11 PM
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#5 | |
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«Kü®bźź»
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Smoke Cloud
Posts: 4,793
Props: 1,042
Propped 4,116 Times in 2,413 Posts
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Quote:
ROFL. It was only a matter of time.
__________________
...Who Does God Pray To?...
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01-26-2010, 05:40 PM
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#6 |
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-»Ph€N¤M«-
is so GOD DAMN wavy
~
Senior Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: In Ya Hopes & Dreams..
Posts: 4,014
Props: 1,472
Propped 1,639 Times in 1,016 Posts
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^LMAO ..No disrespect or nun though lol
__________________
...My Opinion > Fact > Everything Else > Your Opinion... |
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01-27-2010, 06:30 AM
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#7 | |||
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Iphorill
is Eye For Real.
Scrub
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Jordan. Blue City
Posts: 147
Props: 58
Propped 56 Times in 44 Posts
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yeah I did the hook myslef.
Quote:
glad you liked this, and I'll of course work more on what you mentioned. Quote:
Quote:
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I'm the letters that alphabet never heard about, the words that the lines couldn't manage to gather, the lines that the verses failed to comprehend, the verses that no song would dare to embrace, the song that no pen would ever write down. |
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| The Following User Says Props to Iphorill For This Useful Post: | -»Ph€N¤M«- (01-27-2010) |
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01-28-2010, 09:00 PM
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#8 |
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alter
the original.
HHE Owner
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Manchester, UK
Posts: 16,116
Props: 6,405
Propped 2,984 Times in 2,194 Posts
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Mmm.. Not feeling the radio.. just didn't feel "real" when I heard it...
Effects were good, just the delivery. It was however a nice touch. Anyways. Not a fan of your adlibs, they just don't really add anything for me. The singing isn't actually too bad, sounds a tiny bit whiney, but it's not too bad man. It's weird because it sounds like the treble or something is too high on your verse, but the rest is fine. Flow was decent, but sometimes you over emphasise rhymes. I could actually vibe to this pretty well, yo I'm actually kinda feeling the singing lol. This wasn't too bad man. Sorry I been sleeping on you, gonna try check your stuff more often. Please RTF on one of my sigs, or a vote or something if you're not into gfx. Much love.
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   Still standing when all's said and done... |
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| The Following User Says Props to alter For This Useful Post: | Iphorill (02-05-2010) |
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01-29-2010, 07:47 AM
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#9 |
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Iphorill
is Eye For Real.
Scrub
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Jordan. Blue City
Posts: 147
Props: 58
Propped 56 Times in 44 Posts
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thx for the feed bro...Vote on what? well I'll check the forum now and see...
__________________
I'm the letters that alphabet never heard about, the words that the lines couldn't manage to gather, the lines that the verses failed to comprehend, the verses that no song would dare to embrace, the song that no pen would ever write down. |
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